They are celebrated. They are mimicked. They are being watched by the next generation.
I’m talking about mean girls — and I’m referring to all ages.
There’s this persistent trend about “keeping it real,” and it’s not something new. For as long as I can remember, people have chosen to deliver comments or even truthful feedback in crushing ways. While I may not know their true intentions, I know that harsh words truly hurt. Especially when these words come from other women.
Haute Grey Foxes, we’re on the same team. We can lovingly challenge or correct each other while also providing words of encouragement. It can be done! Don’t let society tell you that you have to crush another woman’s — or anyone’s — confidence to “keep it real.”
It’s simply not true, and you’re leaving a path of destruction
People mask “keeping it real” with sayings like, “I’m just being honest” or “This is how I feel.” However, behind these sayings are words that are rude, disrespectful or tasteless. I always cringe when I hear someone start their conversation in this way. I’m even more saddened when others chime in and jump on the bandwagon.
Before you think you are keeping it real, consider these three things to determine whether you’re keeping it kind, too.
Check your heart.
Are you adding salt to a wound? Or are you kicking someone when they’re down because you know that you’re at an advantage? We hate to think that we are capable of being a bully, but I challenge you to consider the motivation behind delivering this realness or honesty. You know your motives, so I encourage you to do a heart check before trying to “keep it real.”
Turn the tables.
Can you imagine someone saying the same words to you? Would their words be a balance of grace and truth that would help you grow and mature? If the words you are about to say lack a follow-up of encouragement or practical suggestions, I would challenge you to think twice. Tools like social media allow us to lose perspective while we’re typing feverishly to get our point across. If you woke up the next morning to see that someone sent you a message or posted on your wall, would you be uplifted by these words?
Lead to positive change.
Hey, we’re all in this together, right? Well, we should all be working diligently to love each other well and support each other on this adventurous journey that we call life. As you share words of grace and truth with your friends, these words should move them forward in a positive direction. Whether they accept what you say and ask for support, or simply learn something new about ways in which they should grow, this should be your aim. When
you leave a conversation with your friend, make sure you leave them feeling better than when the conversation may have started — especially if the conversation was a heartfelt one.