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IN: Uncategorized

Learning to Love Yourself: Find your cheerleading team

March 9, 2017 By hautegreyfox 8 Comments

One of my favorite pastimes is hanging out at Barnes & Noble, drinking my favorite beverage and thumbing through books and magazines with the best kind of company — great friends.  On Saturday, My friend and I went to Barnes & Noble.  We grabbed our usual beverage of choice and picked up some reading material.  we also discussed fashion, our respective business ventures, our vision, and more.

 

I’m not quite sure what sparked the conversation, but we started a discussion about self-love and authenticity.  It didn’t take long for us to take a walk down memory lane to our younger selves.  Reflected on our similar stories of lacking confidence in some of the most simple decisions.

We laughed and joked, thinking how differently things would have been if the younger version of ourselves had the same level of confidence that we have today.  We came to a conclusion:  we’d be one heck of a force.

Although we joked about being a force to be reckoned with, we understand that conceit and narcissism is not the definition of self-love.  Actually those things are the opposite of self-love and can be very destructive to relationships.

Self-love requires healthy relationships, which are built on unconditional love and trust.  It is built on mutual respect.  I once thought self-sacrifice meant that if I did more than required, someday I would receive love in return.  However, this expectation is unrealistic.  The letdown can be devastating.

There were many times that I consistently put the needs of others before my own.  Please know the beauty in loving your neighbor; however, when it become a people-pleasing behavior, we must take a closer look.  Eventually, this habit became an expectation.

Soon, I noticed that many of the “friends” in my circle were takers.  They had invaded my life.  I had people who were unable or unwilling to celebrate when good things happened in my life.  If the scenarios were flipped, it was a demand to bring out the cannons, balloons and banners when this particular group of people needed a cheerleader.  I had to critically examine my relationships.

 

Haute Grey Foxes Suggestion:  Are you everyone’s cheerleader?  I was trying to be, but I soon felt drained as I wondered what it would feel like  to receive the same level of support.  Begin to watch behaviors and be open to the truth.  Eventually, your real cheerleaders will be revealed.  Knowing this is one thing; accepting the truth will be difficult.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Alexis says

    March 9, 2017 at 5:13 am

    This is so insightful and true! Great comments! I too am in my 50’s and I’m not sure if it’s my age, but one thing I love is that I feel I have a little more clarity or wisdom and I’m more willing to move on from these types of relationships and focus on positive and inspiring relationships. Or, as you put it, cheerleaders! There are many genuine people people. We just have to be open to them, as you said. Thanks! Alexis

    Reply
    • hautegreyfox says

      March 10, 2017 at 11:53 pm

      Alexis, I wholeheartedly agree and love your comment about clarity, wisdom and focusing on positive and inspiring relationships. I feel blessed to have beautiful cheerleaders in my life! So glad you enjoyed this post.

      Reply
  2. Cynthia says

    March 10, 2017 at 1:58 am

    I have been there also, but the one thing I learned is genuine people will show up when you can see them! Often it takes life lessons to finally say to some takers “Not Today”. Love your blog post it was right on time!

    Reply
    • hautegreyfox says

      March 10, 2017 at 11:47 pm

      So true Cynthia! So glad you enjoyed this post. May I borrow this? “Not Today” takers…. love this!

      Reply
  3. elle the Elle Diaries says

    March 13, 2017 at 4:26 am

    Love this gingham dress, the color is great on you!
    Yes, true friends are a pleasure and the energize a soul, rather than deplete it. I find I appreciate my friends more and more as life goes on!
    xx, Elle
    http://www.theellediaries.com/blog/

    Reply
    • hautegreyfox says

      March 19, 2017 at 2:16 pm

      YES Elle! True friends absolutely energize the soul. Appreciate your kind comments.

      Reply
  4. Tracey Crockett says

    March 31, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    I love this post as it is right on time for what I am writing for my new blog and upcoming video. It’s so great to be a cheerleader, but as you so eloquently put it, we need them as much, and sometimes more, than they need us at times. I turned 50 in December and as I reflected on my life I realized that I learned this lesson sooner than most, but it took a lot out of me. I pray that those who have not yet gotten to this place in life get their much sooner than I did as the toll it can is oftentimes harder than we ever imagined. Thank you for such an insightful, powerful post.

    Oh, I love your dress…where did you find it, if you don’t mind sharing?

    Be blessed 🙂

    Reply
    • hautegreyfox says

      April 1, 2017 at 5:10 am

      Thanks for your comments…I am happy to hear that you enjoyed this post. I purchased my dress from J.Crew. Pictures really do not adequately capture the true beauty of this dress. Blessings. HGF

      Reply
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Instagram post 2194647893330344906_271055940 Thankfully 57 now posted on the blog!
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I’ve always enjoyed celebrating my birthday because it’s around Thanksgiving, which means there’s a chance I’ll be spending it with many members of my family. What a gift! This year, I had the privilege of doing it one more time. 
How did I celebrate?
We brought out lots of delicious food (like gumbo) — and the cards, y’all. From Uno to spades, we played round after round. It was so much fun spending downtime with my family.  I want to continue living with thankfulness.  What about you?
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#newblogpost #thankful #celebrateliving #manyreasonstocelebrate #newmorning #newmercies #loveones #friends #lessonslearned #newmemories #newcelebrations #lovebymany #ilovemany #postbirthdaycelebration #angusbarn #beststeakever #gumbo #spades #uno #timewithfamilyandfriends #hautegreyfox #57yearsyoung #lifestyleblogger #onalivingspree
Instagram post 2193332697068448243_271055940 During the Thanksgiving season, I had so many things that kept me joyful.  Everything was topped off with an incredible birthday dinner in my honor, continuing the fun of spending time with my family and friends.  Sunday on the blog I’ll be sharing how I celebrated, who joined the celebration and why I am thankful.  Have an amazing weekend!
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#wiw #houndstoothcoat #hm #chanelshoes #streetstyle #thankful #agelessstyle #over50influencer #styleover50 #nowtrending #classicstyle #outfitideas #fayncbloggers #streetstyle #joyful #styleinspo #likefinewine #hautegreyfox #onalivingspree
Instagram post 2191815876209099170_271055940 My go to style is timeless and simple like this effortless black turtleneck dress.  Love how the classic-turtleneck was updated with beautiful puff sleeves - and it’s very affordable!  I purchased one in black and one in tan 😀 you should run to target because I’m pretty sure this beauty will sell out!  Paired it with my tibi otk boots and my favorite @goorinbros #colonelpierce hat
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#gotostyle #blackturtleneck #targetdeals #love #blacksweaterdress #otkboots #goorin_trendsetter #puffedsleeves #nowtrending #updatedclassic #classicstyle #outfitideas #targetstyle #targetdoesitagain #over50influencer #style #andfabulous #styleover #women #hautegreyfox
Instagram post 2189563463045570573_271055940 Giving y’all a sneak peak of my blog room Christmas tree.  Not finished yet but so far it’s beautiful.  Deets below. .
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Ornaments - @stylinbrunette 
5 ft. flocked Tree - @target 
Birthday look (57 years young y’all) 🎂
Top - @zara @zarausa
Pants - @topshop 
Shoes - @chanelofficial 
Chair - @restoration.hardware
Instagram post 2189012606763808385_271055940 I hope your Thanksgiving holiday week was nothing short of amazing.  I had a great time with family.  Today I celebrate my 57th birthday!  Fifty-Seven Thankful and blessed 🙏🏽
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#itsmybirthday #thankful #grateful #fullheart #blessed #walkingintonextyearlike #fierce #determined #bold #50flyandfabulous #50plusblogger #hautegreyfox #likefinewine #betterwithtime #fayncbloggers #styleisageless
Instagram post 2184625248287099517_271055940 New Blog Post!  Thanksgiving is this week, and that means it’s time to start cooking, y’all!  Head on over to the blog to find out what dish  my family wants me to cook.  I’m trying a new recipe too, so be sure to check out my insta stories.  Are you thinking of trying a new recipe this year?
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#dirtyrice #neworleansfood #thankful #timetocook #southerntraditions #goodeats #fondmemories #familytime #filledwithgratitude #reflecting #gathertogether #happythanksgivng #gratefulforallofyou #lifestyleblogger #50pluswomen #intentionallife #fayettevillencblogger #eatwelllivewell #hautegreyfox #onaliving_spree #alwaysreppin @goorinbros #bebold
Instagram post 2183208941297717009_271055940 I can’t believe it’s only five days until Thanksgiving.  What is your most requested Thanksgiving side dish?  Sharing my most requested dish on the blog soon.
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Also, this plaid @lkbennettlondon coat!🥰
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#shareyourfavoriterecipe #almostthanksgiving #whatareyoucooking #whatareyouwearing #plaidcoat #lkbennett #tibiboots #goorinbros #colonelpierce #zarabag #50plusblogger #styleisageless #lovewell #loveoften #surroundyourselfwithgoodpeople #hautegreyfox #fayncblogger #ncblogger #lifestyleblogger
Instagram post 2182465085652519294_271055940 Such an amazing trunk show @grove_hill_ltd  and @belladahl - I finally met  @frickspicks and reconnected with @msgoldgirl and so many  amazing ladies!  The boutique has the most amazing pieces.  For more info check out  my insta stories 💕
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#belladahl #grovehilll #trunkshow #beautifulwomen #sanantonio #lifestyleblogger #fashionblogger #grovehill #holidaydressing #fashion #styleisageless #livewell #lovealways #hautegreyfox #onalivingspree #capturingmoments #nikonshooter
Instagram post 2179558655018561891_271055940 So excited to share a few really great coats with you over the next couple of weeks - some are statement coats while others are classics. Snagged this coat during an incredible sale @ralphlauren_outlet while vacationing in Florida.  Paired it with my favorite Colonel Pierce @goorinbros hat. .
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#herringbonecoat #ralphlauren #greenhat #wintercoat #greenhat #colonelpierce #goorinbros #goorin_trendsetter #fiftyplusblogger #lifestyleblogger #styleisageless #downtownfayettevillenc #fayettevillencblogger ##streetstyle #photoshoot #fashion #stylish #hautegreyfox #livewelllovelife
Instagram post 2176652849268702578_271055940 Be Fierce and Kind - World Kindness Day.
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Hat @goorinbros 
Suit @modcloth 
Shoes @zara 
Belt @Gucci .
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#worldkindnessday #kindandfierce #plaidsuit #squaretoeshoes #workchic #50plusblogger #streetstyle #photoshoot #styleatanyage #northcarolinablogger  #madforplaid #brownwomenwhoblog #goorin_trendsetter #livebold #zara #hautegreyfox
Instagram post 2175214027331045150_271055940 *New Blog Post - How to Make Traveling A Family Affair.  Before you book a trip for a bunch of your family members, I have some tips that will make the experience a tradition.
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Have you ever taken a big family trip?  What are your suggestions?
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#disneyfamilyvacation #bigfamilytrip #bebold #disney #wheredreamscometrue #toystory #magickingdom #hollywoodstudiosdisney #airbnbexperience #planahead #beflexible #capturethemoments #travelofteneatwell #livefearlessly #familyaffair #lifestyleblogger #nikonshooter #hautegreyfox #fayettevillencblogger #ncblogger
Instagram post 2173044724930243247_271055940 Happy Friday!  Been MIA for a few days - out here trying to live my best life at Disney.  Enjoying some amazing food, music and magic — follow my instastories 😃
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#vacay #happiestplaceonearth #disneyworld #familyfun #dontforgettolive #swimsuitcoverup #funtimes #50plusblogger #lifestyleblogger #highwaistedjeans #floridafun #hautegreyfox .
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